What is it about my self-worth? Your Self-Worth: Beyond Others' Opinions

Hey there, fellow warriors on the path to healing and self-discovery! Today, I want to dive into a topic that's near and dear to my heart: self-worth. You see, for the longest time, I bought into the myth that my value as a person was tied to other people's opinions of me and how productive I was during my healing process. But let me tell you, nothing could be further from the truth. Let's rewind the tape a bit and delve into my story. Like many of you, I've grappled with the aftermath of trauma—in my case, it was work-related PTSD. The symptoms were relentless: flashbacks, nightmares, hypervigilance—you name it, I experienced it. And amidst the chaos of trying to navigate daily life while battling my inner demons, I found myself caught in a vicious cycle of self-doubt and self-criticism.

It was as if I was constantly seeking validation from external sources—my colleagues, my friends, even strangers on the internet—hoping that their approval would somehow fill the void within me. And when I wasn't able to meet the unrealistic expectations I had set for myself, I spiraled into a pit of shame and despair, convinced that I was fundamentally flawed and unworthy of love and acceptance. 

But here's the thing I've come to realize: my self-worth is not contingent upon the opinions of others or how productive I am during my healing process. It's an intrinsic part of who I am—a birthright that cannot be taken away or diminished by external circumstances. And let me tell you, embracing this truth has been nothing short of liberating.

You see, when we place our worth in the hands of others, we relinquish our power and autonomy, allowing external forces to dictate our sense of self. But when we reclaim ownership of our worthiness, we reclaim our power to define ourselves on our own terms—to love ourselves unconditionally, flaws and all. Now, don't get me wrong—acknowledging our worthiness doesn't mean we have to go it alone. On the contrary, seeking support and validation from trusted friends, family members, or mental health professionals can be an important part of the healing journey. But it's crucial to remember that their opinions are just that—their opinions—and they do not define our inherent value as individuals.

And let's talk about productivity for a moment, shall we? In a society that glorifies hustle culture and equates busyness with worthiness, it's easy to fall into the trap of measuring our value based on how much we accomplish in a day. But here's the reality: healing is messy, nonlinear, and often downright exhausting. And that's okay.

During my own healing journey, there are still days when getting out of bed felt like an insurmountable task—let alone ticking off items on my to-do list. And you know what? That's perfectly okay. Because healing isn't about checking boxes or meeting arbitrary benchmarks—it's about showing up for ourselves with kindness, compassion, and grace, no matter where we are on our journey.

So if you're struggling to find your footing amidst the chaos of healing, I want you to know this: you are not alone. Your worthiness is not determined by how much you accomplish or how far along you are in your healing process. It's rooted in the simple fact that you are a human being deserving of love, respect, and dignity—no matter what.

And as we navigate the ups and downs of healing together, let's remember to extend ourselves the same level of compassion and understanding that we would offer to a dear friend in need. Let's release ourselves from the burden of perfectionism and embrace the messy, beautiful process of becoming whole again.

Because here's the truth, my friends: healing is not a destination—it's a journey. And your worthiness is not a prize to be earned—it's an inherent part of who you are. So let's walk this path together, supporting and uplifting each other along the way, knowing that our worthiness is not up for debate—it's simply a fact of life.
​